Articles
Focus On Self
Confidence is a compound word: “con” - meaning “with,” and “fidence” meaning – “trust, faith.” The word confidence is derived from its Latin roots to be defined as “with trust,” or “with faith,” or “with belief.” Put the word confidence with the suffix “self” and it would be “with trust in self,” “with faith in self,” “with belief in self.” Self-confidence is something all cherish. Self-confidence and self-worth are related.
But someone asks, “What if I grow up ordinary?” So, we fix our self-worth with being impressive. Then, because self-worth falters, self-confidence also fades. Low self-worth, low self-confidence, and then low self-esteem: The unrelenting pain of judging ourselves. We don’t need anyone else to tell us how worthless we are. We tell ourselves that all the time. The treadmill is endless trying to prove self-worth through accomplishment or external approval.
Cultural messages we absorb tell us we must be great at everything and look good while doing it. When we fall short, and we will, we are crushed and disappointed. Over time, we give up. Self-esteem that comes from performance or approval from others is fragile. It is built on a shaky focus. The cultural message we absorb goes something like this: “If we are athletic, we are somebody; if we are good looking, we are somebody; if we are intelligent, we are somebody.” But what if we are clumsy, ugly, dull and dumb, can we be somebody? Sorry, we’re out. This cultural message is old and repeated throughout history.
To counter this cultural message, we try to build each other up through praise. It’s important to tell someone how great they are. But the combination of failing then having someone tell you how great you are, can cause self-loathing. Feelings of ineptitude increase. Instead, consider turning off the self-focus. Forget self and realize we’re not the center of the universe. We can change our self-criticism by focusing on ourselves less. Have you ever been at a gathering and laughed so hard, you had that “belly-laugh”? In that moment, the focus was not on ourselves. We were not self-conscious. We let go.
So, maybe the problem is not altogether about self-confidence, but focusing on ourselves too much. Maybe that is why the Lord said in order to follow Him, we must deny ourselves. As Christians, we must take the focus off of ourselves and place it on Him.
I don’t know about you, but my greatest challenge is to keep my mind off of myself, and on the Lord, serving Him. If I listen to Him, I am more at peace.
Rickie Jenkins
