Articles
“You Can’t, You Can’t, You Can’t”
If a person is told all their life “you can’t, you can’t, you can’t”, what will they believe? They will believe that they can’t. They do not feel like anyone supports them. They feel misunderstood. They do not feel like anyone believes in them or trusts them. I know a young man in his later teens who has been told repeatedly, “You can’t, you can’t.” All he expects now is, “He can’t.” Yet he is a really gifted and talented young man. He is exceptional in his thinking and has a caring heart. That is heart-breaking to me.
We like to pigeonhole people. We stereotype them. If a person is gifted and talented, and thinks just a little bit different, others do not know how to take that person. We operate on what we call normal. But what is normal? Is anyone normal? If so, according to what standard of measure? My normal may not be your normal. We must work hard to understand people who think “outside the box.”
First, no child should ever be made to feel this way. If adults treat a child that demeans them in any way, then shame on the adults. If a child is gifted and talented and the adults do not understand that child, then who is handicapped? Putting a child down, embarrassing a child, and making a child feel less than a person is simply not acceptable behavior by anyone. After all, who says my normal is normal?
Second, no parent should ever make their child feel like they can’t or put them down for being different. But again, who defines different? Maybe the parent is the different one. There is no such thing as a "generic" person. Each of us is unique in our own personality. It is the job of parents to recognize their child’s gifts and help them develop them.
Third, no congregation of God’s people ought ever to make another adult or child feel like they are on the outside. They should not make them feel like they are odd or do not fit in. Everyone in God’s family has a place and a role. We do not measure ourselves by ourselves. Just because we may be a little bit different, or differ on a particular passage, does not make you weird. Maybe I am the weird one.
Don’t we have enough personality police around already? In our homes and in our churches, shouldn't people find relief from their judgmentalism? Jesus never put anyone down just because they were different from the accepted norm. If He had, He would never have chosen Matthew, the tax collector, or Simon the Zealot. However, He strongly denounced hypercritical and hypocritical judgment (Matt. 7:1-5). Here is a novel idea: we must get the log out of our own eye. Usually children, even teenagers, don’t have this issue. It is the adults. The ones who are to supposed to be the mature ones in the room.
We all have our gifts and talents. Some may be more gifted and talented than others. But if I have just one gift and one talent, then I must appreciate what God has given me. If my child, my brother, or sister have just one talent, it is my responsibility to encourage them in their use of their giftedness.
Let each one of us make sure we are lifting people up, not putting them down. Let each one of us look for those who are put down and give them a place in our lives. Remember, when Jesus went to the house of Zacchaeus, no one else wanted to go, but He did. Would I have gone?
Rickie Jenkins
