Articles
Choose To Trust
“It is better to be trusted than loved” (George MacDonald). I would say it is hard to love if we cannot trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
Trust is not something that just happens. It happens deliberately. Trust is a by-product, the result of truth, honor and integrity. Trust is not something we set out to accomplish. It comes in beside who we are in our heart. It is seen by how we respond to others, by how we respond to circumstances, by what we say to others and about others. It comes because we have been transparent and sincere. It is built over time by consistency; consistently being genuine and doing what is right.
We all know what it is like to distrust someone. Distrust too, is a by-product. When someone lies to us, cheats us, and deceives us, there is no respect and no trust. When a person is “putting on airs”, we can tell. We can tell when someone is disingenuous. We may say, “I always keep one hand on my back pocket when I am around him.” In others words, we know there is no trust.
If we boil it down, any relationship depends on trust. If there is no trust, there will be no relationship. Trust is not something acquired; it must be earned. Developing trust is like constructing a building. It takes time and it must be done one piece at a time. It is much easier to tear down than build up.
Trust must first begin with me. Self-deception is an enemy of self and all relationships. Looking at ourselves honestly is essential to building trust. If I lie to myself, I will lie to others and others will see it. In fact, they will see it before I do. It is not easy to take a hard look at ourselves. It is not easy to ask, “Am I being honest with myself. Am I being building trustworthy character? Do I keep my word? Do I follow through with the commitments I make?”
We have all been hurt at some time in our life. We have all been disappointed in one whom we placed our trust. Once we get burned it is hard to open ourselves to the possibility of being hurt again. So we put up self-protective devises. We build walls to protect ourselves. As a result, we do not build relationships. We pull back. The person we hurt, however, is not the other, but ourself. Once we close down, we can become cynical, bitter, and filled with hate. We may see it as protecting ourself when in reality we are doing more harm.
No one will live long among other people without being hurt in some way. Trust is the casualty. Consider the alternative to isolating ourself. As opposed to loneliness there will be companionship. As opposed to being loveless there will be mutuality. I get to choose to trust or not. Either way, there is a price to pay. One builds, the other destroys. It is my choice.
Rickie
