You have heard of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Have you heard of the Platinum rule? “Treat others the way they want to be treated” (Tony Allesandra).
 
Basically, The Platinum rule is finding what is of interest in the other person. People like to talk about what they are interested in. In fact, one of the keys to winning relationships is to get people talking about themselves. That requires listening. “Exclusive attention to the person speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering” (Charles Eliot). When we listen to the other person it lets them know they are important. Everyone wants to be important.
 
Everyone wants affirmation. We all want to know we have value. Nothing is as deflating as being treated as nothing or feeling slighted in some way. Affirmation can come in a compliment. Affirmation can come in a gift. Affirmation can come from a hug or a kiss. But, nothing gives affirmation better than uninterrupted listening. Have you ever been talking to a person and the whole time you are talking their eyes are focused on everyone and everything else around them but you? While that may be innocent it tells the person talking, “I am not interested in what you have to say.”  I had someone tell me very recently that when she was talking to Jordan he made her feel like the most important person in the room. His eyes stayed focused on her and that made her feel important.
 
Everyone also wants approval. I don’t know of anyone who wants to be disliked. We all want to be liked. We want approval. You’ve heard of people described as “people pleasers.” Are there people who want to be people displeasers? I doubt it. Give people what they want. Give them the affection and approval they need. Let them know they are truly valuable. Little courtesies like “Thank you,” “Please.” “Would you please…?”  We will never know how a life can be changed simply giving what they need: the feeling of importance. Paul says even those who are considered least are important (1 Cor. 12:22).
 
Giving people what they want is not The Platinum rule. It is the Holy Spirit’s rule. “Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being” (1 Cor. 10:24).

Rickie