Articles
Change
Change produces different reactions in different people. I do not propose to know all the reasons why. Maybe one reason is we like things the way they are. We get comfortable and things fit. I would say this is not exclusive to older people. I think many younger people and younger families feel the same way, too.
Sometimes there is a change in job. Maybe it is a forced change: a firing, laying off, or a company that moves. It is hard to start over in another job. It takes time to develop relationships all over again. It takes time to get use to the new expectations.
Sometimes change comes because of death. The one we loved is gone. If that is a mate, the survivor struggles to find their footing. They struggle to move forward, at first. Absence and loneliness are hard to bear. The change can be overwhelming. If it is due to the death of a child, it is a change that parents live with the rest of their lives. To feel, to taste, to hear, and just to see another child enjoy life under the sun is hard, to say the least. For either one it is an emptiness that never is satisfied.
Parents who see their child off to college think: how will we ever adjust to them being gone? The empty nest can be hard. Different than death, this change can be easily adjusted. When they bring all their laundry home parents know all is well. Then when they marry and grandkids come along parents are thankful they left home and found the love of their life. Lives that once seemed empty are now full all over again.
Regardless of the change, what can we do to adjust? First, embrace the change instead of fighting against it. That is challenging because sometimes we do not want to do that. Embracing the change will helps us move to the approval phase. “Okay, I am adjusting. Give me time.” That then leads to participation in what once was rejected. Now it has become a part of us. Now we have not only learned to cope with the change but make it second nature to ourselves.
Change comes in life whether we want it or not. We may not like it, but we will not stop it. Flexibility as opposed to rigidity will make adjusting easier. As the old saying goes, “roll with the flow.”
