Walking Through Ephesians
“Walking Through Ephesians - Day 11”
Categories: Walking Through EphesiansEphesians 5:22-33
You’re a guy going through his daily Bible reading and stumble upon Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” As a husband, naturally joy ensues. “I just knew I am always right! The Bible affirms it!” Alright, alright, pump the breaks for a minute. Something sounds a little out of sync.
In the following verses Paul sheds some major light on what the roles of husband and wife are. If you’re the elated guy in the previous paragraph, take note of what Paul says in verse 25 about husbands loving their wives. It would have been easier if Paul had just left it there. Love them. That’s all. Just love them. Paul could have let us decide to love our wives however we husbands saw fit. Of course, Paul isn’t that easy on us.
Paul says that husbands need to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Later Paul states husbands should cherish their wives like their own flesh and like Christ does the church. Talk about a high calling. We are talking about self-sacrificial love. Love that doesn’t do what we want, but what our wives need. Love that seeks to understand our wives, not control them. Love that seeks to help our wives, not be served. Maybe some other words from Paul would be helpful here. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way.” Husbands can and should fill their role as the head of the family without always insisting on their own way. Husbands love like Jesus.
Now back to the wives for a moment. The Jesus analogy cuts both ways. Wives are told to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. That’s always easy, right? I’ve never known anyone that had trouble submitting to Jesus (said no one ever). Despite all the things Christ has done for us, submission can still be difficult. Is it any surprise it is difficult submitting to a husband sometimes? The idea of submission inherently means it’s not easy. You have your own will, but you give that up by way of submission. Submission requires humility. It requires trust. In fact, it requires just what is required of husbands, self-sacrifice.
Perhaps it would be easier if husbands always lived up to their calling. However, they don’t. Many times, husbands don’t act like Christ at all. So, if my husband isn’t living exactly like Christ, I’m off the hook, right? Wrong. Just like Paul didn’t go easy on the guys, he didn’t go easy on the gals either. Paul didn’t write for wives be submissive if your husband is like Christ. But Paul also didn’t write for husbands to be loving if their wives respected them. Paul wrote for wives to be submissive, and Paul also wrote for husband to be like Christ. They are individual commands, and they aren’t conditional on what the other spouse does.
Here are a few truths that permeate scripture. One, God’s plan works. Two, people seem to always make a mess of it. The relationship between husband and wife, as designed by God, is the way things were meant to be. It’s an Eden like picture. Perfect. A husband that sacrificially loves and a wife that self-sacrificially submits. But we don’t live in Eden. Husbands can be jerks and wives can be disrespectful. This doesn’t mean that God’s plan doesn’t work, it simply means people sometimes make a mess of it.
Paul has been writing in Ephesians about living the way God intended. Paul has given us the intention for marriages. It is a beautiful one. Submission is not something for men to enjoy and women to hate. Sacrificial love is not something for men to loath and women to take advantage of. God’s way isn’t always the easy way, but there is no doubt it is the right way. When husbands and wives live as God intended, it’s not out of sync, it brings beautiful harmony.
